Would you like to liven up a party? Ask, so everyone can hear you, what everyone thinks of the biblical imperative, “Wives, submit to your husbands”. This often sets off a firestorm of discussion. I've seen many a godly woman struggle with this one because it can feel very stone-aged, even abusive toward women. If God is God then why did God allow this to be placed in his book of instructions for life? I've got a couple thoughts on the topic of biblical submission.

The New Testament book Ephesians chapter 5, verses 22-33 is the primary source of this. It says: “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” It equates a man's leadership at home to Christ's leadership of the church. If we knew nothing of Christ we might guess that this places the husband in a very powerful role over the wife - but fortunately we know a lot about Christ. He pioneered a new type of leadership - what the Christian Church calls “Servant” leadership. The bible says “the greatest among you …is he who serves.” This verse goes on to say, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” . I've emboldened this last part because it's the key to understanding this biblical submission - in fact, the key to understanding a successful marriage.

When a man gives himself up…puts his wife first in all things - and she submits to this kind of treatment and does not resist his giving to her - the marriage works. Remember how you met each other. He was smitten and began to court you. He called, he asked for dates, he brought gifts, he picked you up, he held the door - he made you special and you did not resist his efforts.